Family Responsibilities

So, on Sunday we had a lesson in Relief Society about Family responsibilities.  Lisa Wilberg, the teacher did a really great job. Before the lesson, she had asked her kids what they thought were the specific roles of each family member.  After church, I decided to do the same with my kids.  They had some good, funny and some really off the wall responses.  I wanted to share before I forgot.

When I asked them what a dad's responsibilities (or jobs) were they said, "to make money, to play games good, to keep everyone else safe and protected. To kill the spiders and bugs. To take care of their kids when mom's are gone.

A mom's responsibilities according to the kids are, "to make the food, to wash the dishes, to teach everyone about the Book of Mormon and everything else, to clean the toilet and the rest of the house, to take the kids where they need to go. And to sleep with the dad.

A kids responsibilities are to eat the food, to listen to the mom and dad, to play, to pick up their rooms, to be good. To go to bed when their mom says and to sleep in their own beds. To go to school and to learn at school and at home.

In the Family, A Proclamation to the World,
"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."

We talked about this paragraph in our class and it really made me think about the love and service we give in our own homes. To our family members.  Do we get caught up in my job and his job and their job and forget about them?  I can take out the garbage and fix the sink and mow the lawn and read a book or help with building a for as good and your average person.  I think it is important to remember that our love for one another is the most important thing and a lot of the time we can lessen someones load by helping them with their responsibilities. I am at home a lot more than Adam is.  Do I like mowing the lawn?  Not at all, but I do it because I know if I do, Adam will have a little bit more time to focus on the kids or doing something that will help him be in a better mood.  It doesn't take a lot of time, but it makes a difference.  We are a family, no one person is better or above another.  we are here to help and strengthen one another.  I think if we focus on that instead of what he or she isn't doing right or doing at all, the little things matter less and we grow stronger as a unit.  Satan is trying so hard to pull families apart.  We see that every day.  Even is some of the strongest families. 

I still struggle with yelling.  I am so short with the kids.  It makes me crazy. It seems like such a simple thing to hold my tongue.  No matter how hard I try I can't control myself.  Maybe it'll take a life time to get control of myself.  I will not give up.  

We were at the park yesterday and there was a cute little boy there. Corbin said he was 10 but he didn't look that old.  He was the kindest, happiest kid.  He was nice to all the kids that were there, old and young.  He made everyone feel like they mattered.  I want to meet his parents and see what they do.  they have to do something or things right in order to have such a loving kid.  that is the kind of parent I want to be, the kind that raises great kids. Kids that stand out because of their greatness.  Maybe someday. Maybe someday.

Captain Moroni (part 2)

In studying more about captain Moroni, I am wanting and wishing we knew something about his parents.  He was truly amazing.  He was a man of God who loved the people he served and his lands and liberty.  He was valiant, courageous, patriotic, full of integrity and charitable.  How hard would it be, to be a man of God who is expected to take lives.  the Book of Mormon talks about how it is okay when the first and second offense are not yours, but how hard it must be to take lives.  Our Military men and women are faced with similar situations. How trying on your spirits that must be. And to face situations like that and then be able to stand strong and valiant and still believe as Moroni did is mind boggling to me.

From what we know, Moroni never doubted.  He didn't fear man. He stood strong to the causes which were most important to him.  He was not ashamed of his God or his beliefs, he understood the importance of family (we don't know anything about his family)  He was young. Nephi was young. Joseph Smith was young. The stripling warriors were young.  Do you think that should teach us something about the youth of the church?  How much they can withstand.  How strong they can be. How humble they might be. What a difference they can make. 

The world we live in is full of evil.  Satan is trying to be everywhere.  There has always been things to fear, trials to overcome, strength to gain and opportunities to overcome the things of this world and become something better as these men did. In quite a few of the talks given in Conference this April, the apostles talked about this.  They talked about how "we are positive and happy not afraid of life." (Pres. Packer) "We should have great cause for concern. But we do not need to let our fears displace our faith. We combat those fears by strengthening our faith."( Elder Nelson) "Pain brings you to a humility that allows you to ponder..... Opposition is part of Heavenly Fathers plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father's love and of our need for our Savior's help" (Elder Kent Richard)

Moroni often talks about relying on the Lord, inquiring of the Lord, trusting in the Lord.  He did his best to live the commandments, to defend the truth. He fasted and prayed in times of need and also to show thanks to the Lord after he and his people were blessed.

Moroni and the people of God were prepared.  They knew their enemy, they knew what they stood for and they had physically prepared themselves for what might come.  we need to do the same.  How can a parent teach and help their children to be prepared if they themselves are not.  We take time to teach our kids what to do in a big "emergency" like if the house catches on fire or if someone tries to kidnap them. we teach them to say no to drugs. How to cross the street. But do we take the time or know how to teach them to rely on the Lord when someone questions the gospel or when they get made fun of or when their friends are headed down a path that is not a great one. Do we know how to prepare them for the spiritual emergency they may face?  Elder Nelson's talk goes on to say, "Why do we need such resilient faith?  Because difficult days are ahead. Rarely in the future will it be easy or popular to be faithful Latter-day Saints. Each of us will be tested.... That very persecution can either crush you into silent weakness or motivate you to be more exemplary and courageous in your daily lives."

I also learned (was reminded, is maybe a better thing to call it) how smart and cunning the devil is. in Alma 46, Amalickiah is leading some of the high priets of the church astray. He is flattering them, by telling them they will get more autority and power if he is their king.  These people give up all they know, believe and all they have because of an idea. How sad this is and how much smarter we need to be.

It is time to get Asher down for a nap. I will write more later.

Captain Moroni & My Stripling Warriors

So, We as a family are reading the book of Mormon, faster and further into it than we ever have with the kids.  Our Bishop asked that everyone in the ward read the Book of Mormon before General Conference in October.  We are a few chapters behind but I am sure we will finish on time. 

Right now, we are reading about Captain Moroni and soon about the Stripling warriors.  I love these chapters and Men and stories.  Not because of the fighting and wars and bloodshed, but because of the type of men these chapters teach us about. 

One of my very favorite scriptures is about Captain Moroni.  It reads, "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were and ever would be like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." Alma 48:17

The following verses talk about how servicable He was as well as Alma and the sons of Mosiah. How they preached repentance and baptism and faith in God.  They were humble and steadfast.  They loved the Lord and their families and their freedoms.

Some other verses that I love and I am planning a FHE to talk about them and put them up in our house to the kids can learn them are; "And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all- they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.
Yea, they were men of truth and and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before Him."  Alma 53:20-21

How did they get to be this way?  This is what I am going to study for the next little bit.  But we know that they knew because their mothers (and I am sure their father's as well) taught them.  They lived for what they believed in and they were valiant. 

My boys have a father who is pretty close to the stature of man that Captain Moroni was.  He is valiant, he is courageous.  He loves the Lord and his family.  He serves and he is worthy to be called a disciple of the Lord.  My boys have a good start to become like Captain Moroni, Heleman and those two thousand stripling warriors.  Let's learn how I can help them to live up to their full potential and ready to face the challenges they will face in their lives.

Thoughts and ideas would be greatly appriciated!!

Levi, mommy date 6/29/2011

so, we have taken time to go out and do things with the kids one at a time since they were little, but recently Adam and i decided we needed to make it more of a scheduled, monthly thing. We set up a calender of when each of the kids would go and which parent they would go with. Last night was supposed to be Adam and Levi. At the last minute, Lev decided he only wanted to go on a date if it was with me (later I found out it was because he thought Adam would try and kiss him and he doesn't like boy kisses.) 

Levi decided for his date he wanted to eat dinner at home with everyone else.  Then he wanted to go get fireworks for the 4th and to get ice cream.  We went to Walmart so we could get an oil change on the van and a few groceries we needed.  He wanted to hold my hand the whole time we were there.  He talked and talked and talked and decided since we were on his date he should be able to buy anything and everything he wanted.  So we let him pick out Cash's birthday present and he got a few fireworks to do when we got home and an M&M fan. For our treat he decided to get rainbows from Pace's (no coaxing by me was needed).  He was so chatty at pace's also.  there was a cute grandma there that said Levi was the cutest kid she has ever seen.  She has all grandsons and thought he was cuter than her own.  She was cute and I think she made Levi's night even better. 

We talked about girls and school and friends and his brother's and getting married and the demolition derby we are going to on Saturday.  He is such a funny kid with such a huge imagination and a great sense of humor.  I love him (and his brothers) so very much.

I was having a bad day and spending time with him a lot better. 

When he had eaten a few bites of his slush he decided we needed to go home so he could share his treat with his dad and his friends (his brothers).  He is such a giving, thoughtful person.  I am excited to see what kid of young men my boys turn into.  they all have so many qualities that can make them be great!!!

little girls

So, here we are again....another huge gap between entries.  Not because I haven't had things to write about but because summer is so super busy and I got a new laptop and couldn't remember the email address to the blog.  What a loser, RIGHT!?!  I can't tell you how many people I wouldn't be able to call, email or text if it weren't for "favorites" online, a contact memory on my phone and google.  Technology is making me use my brain less and less. 

So, I am back and the question on my mind is, "What would a little girl do to our family full of boys?" 




Well, for starters, i would have to come up with a new name for my blog.  My soon to be craft room would turn into a very pink girl room (that could be fun). I would get to go shopping and buy (not just look at the little girl clothes) 

It would throw a lot of things off, some for the better, some for the.....less than better.  For instance, I don't think I would be able to yell at a sweet little girl. Adam wouldn't be able to for sure.  that would be good and bad at the same time.  It would make 5 or 6 more years before all of the kids were in school and I could start thinking about going back to school and getting y degree.  The boys all want a sister soooooooooo bad.
I think when the kids are older, I might have a hard time if I don't have a daughter to hang out with, to shop with, to have call me with parenting advise when she is a mom. 

I am thinking about this because I have been told probably 10 times in the last week or 2 that I need a little girl.  Who is to say if we have another (which I have mixed feelings about also) that it wouldn't be another little boy. Babies are little blessings from heaven and if we are supposed to have more, we will and we will get what we are supposed to have.  But, it is something to think about. 

How would your life be different in a lacking kind of way if you didn't have your kids? Or nieces and nephews or whatever it is you have.

Happy Mother's day??

A big shout out to all my fellow mothers out there!!  Nothing like a day to celebrate our faults and shortcomings.  I can't tell you how many times today I heard the words, "being a mother is so rewarding and is one of the greatest blessings in a woman's life........
Really? 
I am anxiously awaiting the day that I feel that way for more than a few seconds here and there.  Right now, I feel tired and weighed down with inadequacy.  By the end of each day i am grateful for bedtime because I need a break from all my little blessings who have nagged and whined and fought all day long. I need a moment to feel like I am something other than a maid, a cook and a sounding board for everyone. 
I think that part of me was expecting something really out of the ordinary today. But the day went as usual other than Adam got up and shut our door so I could sleep in till 9 in peace. And Adam was sick.  The kids were exceptionally wiggly in sacrament meeting and wouldn't stop talking.  I know that the young men's presidency talked about mothers but that is all I could tell you.  then I got to go to a family dinner with out Adam and deal with all the kids by my self. 
I am soooooo tired today.  I am grateful that I am tired because I was doing good. and taking care of the things I love most in this world, but am left feeling far from where I want to be at the end of this great day. 
I wish that I was put on this earth with the natural talent to be good, loving, playful mom. That I jumped out of bed every morning, early, excited for what the day might bring.  I want that, but have no idea how to get to that place. 
Maybe after the kids are grown up, and you look back at all the blood and sweat and tears and band aids you put in to raising you great kids who have turned into great adults you recognize the blessing better.  One day I will let you know.  For now, I will have to take the small moments where I feel that joy and hang on to that a little bit harder

the art of faith perfection

So, some of you might have started to think that I was MIA....well, I'm back.  This last week has been very full. There was a lot going on before the week started and every day brought new adventures and trials to many of my neighbors. I got to be on the helping side of a lot of struggles this week. And I will say that is the side I like to be on.  Nothing like a week full of service. 
I must say that I tried very hard throughout the week to be mindful of my children and making sure they did not feel too neglected.  I realized that a lot of that time we get so busy helping everyone outside of our home with so many things that we forget the people we should care and serve the most. I think that I was blessed because of that mind set and my kids did really well with all the stress that was everywhere.
What I really wanted to share today was a thought provoking quote I heard at a Relief Society meeting I went to yesterday morning.  There was a couple speaking to us about trials and faith. Both were young and both had lost their mothers to medical conditions and both had struggles and blessings come into their lives.
The wife talked about how she kept hoping that she would get to be one of those people who could say, "My mother was very sick with cancer, BUT she was miraculously healed."  That wasn't the case.  As she studied and prayed to be comforted, she came across a talk entitled "Faith and Infertility"  she shared a quote from the talked and here it is,

"She recalls a Sunday School lesson in which a bishopric member shared an important message about faith—one she’s clung to ever since. He said, “When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren’t healed but continue faithful, their faith is being perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting.”

http://lds.org/ensign/2011/04/faith-and-infertility?lang=eng&query=faith+perfecting

I have thought a lot about this the last 2 days.  And how true it is.  If every time we prayed for a sick friend or family member to be healed and they were, if every time we weren't completely comfortable in our circumstances and they quickly changed because of a prayer, or whatever they may be, we would have a lot of faith promoting experiences, but how much greater our faith has to be as we struggle through the hard times, as we watch a loved one suffer through the final days of cancer or old age. As we watch our children make bad choices or struggle as a parent. As we struggle through school or a job or a calling. As we fight to overcome depression or a life long disease. How perfect our faith can become in prayer and in love and in endurance.

President Kimball in "The Miracle of Forgiveness" talks about struggles. He says something like, strength and struggle go together. without struggle we would never know the strength we have or have opportunities to be strengthened.  So very true. Think about how much stronger we come out of a rough time.  Strength we would never know we had not been faced with specific trials, big and small, throughout our lives.

I watch my mom struggle with her problems and for the most part, she has faith, she endures as well as she can.  One day, she will be better, maybe not in this life, but she will be better and I am sure she will have stories to share of faith perfecting experiences she had through the hard years of her life.

And so it is with each of us, as we struggle through our own individual struggles, we can be grateful for the opportunity our Heavenly Father is giving us to perfect our faith in Him and rely more on Him and His tender mercies.