Defeat

Have you ever felt totally defeated?  I have a lot lately.  I start every day thinking that  I am going to have a great day, that I will not be defeated my anything, not my kids, the laundry, the jerk at the store, definitely not by my old house that I love so much.  Well, today, I was defeated by my kids, my husband, the oven and dinner. 

I wish it were easier to have an eternal perspective, to look past the little things that for some reason seem to matter so much. To have a bad day or hour or minute and to say, something like, "man that sucked", be mad or sad or whatever for a few seconds and then move on to something more important, more eternal.  I am frustrated with Adam right now.  I need to just get over it, but I know me and I an going to sulk in it for a few hours or a night and then let the guilt of being upset drive me to apologize for a disagreement I didn't start. Wasted time and feelings. 

Life is hard and stressful. Too bad we didn't come to earth knowing all we needed to know, having already felt everything we needed to feel, having a quick fix to every problem.  I often think how differently I would react to situations if I didn't have the gospel in my life.  If I didn't have the spirit with me on and off through out the day (when I allow it to be with me). I can't imagine how much harder life would be.  I think I would be a very sad person. 

I also think about service and just being with other people, like play groups or talking to a complete stranger at McDonald's just to have an adult conversation.  We need others in our lives to make us complete.  Our spouses, children, extended family, friends, neighbors, strangers.  There is a lot we can do for others without even knowing that we are helping.  Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when He sent us down here by the hundreds and thousands and billions. 

Tomorrow I will once again start the day feeling like I will conquer it, who knows, maybe I will.